Thursday, July 5, 2012

Youngest Daughter - (Growing Like A Weed)

Youngest daughter a year before diagnosis at a friend's birthday party

I have been doing some reflecting lately.

Things have once again been changing over here in the Naturally Sweet Sister household.  Nothing too obvious but more like the subtle changes that only a mother would see.

I  see that change happening to youngest daughter.

It is that magical age of growth, physically and emotionally, that happens to most little girls right around 4th grade.

She is taller, smarter, sillier and with a sharper sense of self than ever before.

In type 1 diabetes world, the changes are even more apparent.

It started with youngest daughter asking me to put the clip on her pump so that she could wear it on the outside of her pants, for the rest of the world to see.

At camp, she volunteered for the infamous leg site that has sparked change in a few other (and older, might I add) kids.

Yesterday, when her site fell off due to heavy play with water balloons and sprinklers, she came to me with not only the information that she needed a new infusion set, but with the supplies to put one on.

But the biggest change came in the form of an innocent question.

"Mama, do you worry about me all the time?"

It was said with the sweetest of voices but with an urgency that made me look quickly at her.

"Of course.  I love you very much."

With a solemn nod, youngest daughter said, "You don't have to worry.  I am going to be OK.  I know what to do now."

Ahhhhh.  Change.  I should feel better because I know that she is not the just turned 3-year old that was diagnosed.  She is a strong, capable young girl that has grown tenfold and is proud of herself AND her type 1 diabetes.  Even so at that moment, my heart broke just a tiny bit... because no one should have to worry about their mother's worry.

That is a cue for me to change... to try to embrace the idea that I am giving my children the tools that will allow them to thrive without the need for constant worry.

I just wish I knew how to do that.

That's the thing about type 1 diabetes, even if you think you know how to handle it, sometimes it sneaks up with a shockingly low or high number that pushes the need for having someone else there to take the reins of care. 

For the moment, I don't bother to explain that.

Instead, I grab youngest daughter for a big squeeze (thanking my lucky stars that she hasn't outgrown that) and say, "I know you can do it.  I am SO proud of you!"

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